Forgiveness Is For YOU - Overcome Trauma Through Forgiveness

S1E18 From Bitterness to Joy with Steve Silva

Welcome to Episode 18! In this last episode on emotions in the forgiveness process, my best friend and husband of almost 32 years, Steve Silva, shares his thoughts about the emotion of bitterness and how it can be redeemed. We talk about the difference between bitterness and sorrow and his process of forgiving me for emotional injuries in our marriage. 

If this podcast resonates with you, subscribe, write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

Lent is here and now is the perfect time for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat.

Connect with me HERE as your forgiveness coach. I will hold space for you as a witness to your story and help you rebuild your life after trauma. 

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.

S1E17 Is Making Amends Atonement?

Welcome to Episode 18 of the Forgiveness is for You Podcast. Today, I make a distinction between two concepts people around the world contemplate as we enter into Holy Week: Making amends and atonement. These concepts, if I may, are central to the act of forgiveness. One is utterly dependent on our own strength, and the other is only possible by the grace of God.

I refer to the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-Step Recovery Program’s directive to make a list of persons harmed and make amends. I trace the etymology of amends and atonement and their application to lived experience. The episode ends with an exhortation to explore forgiveness through the lenses of making amends and atonement.

If this podcast resonates with you, please follow, subscribe, write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

 

Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat. 

Connect with me HERE as your forgiveness coach. I will hold space for you as a witness to your story and help you rebuild your life after trauma.

Grab your Free Gift at www.drcarron.com

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.

 

S1E16 You First! 5 Steps to Overcome Pride in Forgiveness

In today's episode, I define pride in the context of forgiveness. Pride is like two sides of a coin, heads or tails, virtue or vice. 

If pride stops at the pleasure or satisfaction we experience for an accomplishment that required great sacrifice, or a level of intimacy we achieved in a relationship, or recognition for a job well done, but doesn’t become the measure by which we measure others, then pride is a virtue.

From a Judeo-Christian perspective, pride is considered a capital sin, a sin that “begets” or gives rise to other sins. Pride is not OK because it blocks the graces God wants to bestow on us to live in the truth of our experience and the gift of freedom from bondage to the offender. We cannot change what happened to us, but we can change our disposition toward what happened and toward God, the offender, and the people in our lives. We can choose to show up as a victor or victim. If we choose to indulge in prideful thoughts and actions, we are more likely to show up as a victim.

References:

Catechism of the Catholic Church 

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary

St. Thomas Aquinas on Humility

Resources: 

Surrender Novena 

Litany of Humility

If this podcast resonates with you, please hit subscribe below.

Write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat. 

Connect with me HERE as your forgiveness coach. I will hold space for you as a witness to your story and help you work through the pain. 

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.

 

S1E15 Overcoming Resentment in the Forgiveness Process

In today’s episode, I discuss the power of resentment in the forgiveness process and offer 10 steps for overcoming it.

The definition of resentment comes from an article, From Ressentiment to Resentment as a Tertiary Emotion by Warren D. TenHouten published in 2018 in the Review of European Studies Volume 10, No 4.

TenHouten claims that resentment is not a primary or secondary emotion, but a tertiary emotion, “whose primary emotional components are anger, surprise and disgust, and whose secondary components are contempt, shock and outrage.” Resentment is a conglomerate of emotions.

I refer to a study by Almeida and Cunha on the physical effects of resentment and mention Dr. Caroline Leaf's work on processing emotions. 

Forgiveness is as much about mastery of our own emotions as it is about using our will in the decision to forgive. Forgiveness requires a level of maturity that allows us to recognize when our emotions are running the show, and when we are using reason to guide our actions. When resentment is driving our behavior, it’s time to take a step back and become private investigators. Get to the thoughts underneath, challenge them; decide on a course of action that produces the result you want. I hope that the result you want is healing and forgiveness.

If this podcast resonates with you, please hit subscribe below.

Write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat. 

Connect with me HERE as your forgiveness coach. I will hold space for you as a witness to your story and help you work through the pain and rebuild your life. 

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.

S1E14 Encounter the Joyful Unknown with Monica Herber

In today’s episode, I welcome my first Guest, Monica Herber. We talk about Monica and her husband’s adoption of a child with profound disabilities and their journey through forgiveness to joyful living. Click on this LINK for a picture of Monica's family. 

Monica is the founder of The Joyful Unknown LLC, Speaker, and Certified Catholic Mindset and Marriage Coach. Her passion is to help individuals and married couples learn the tools needed to choose joy in the midst of suffering. Monica guides clients into joyful living while helping them cope with losses due to tragedy, devastating diagnoses, or life-altering events. As a proud adoptive mom of a child with profound disabilities, a survivor of infertility, and a happily married wife of 15 years, she knows how to stop settling for mere survival and start enjoying the abundance of God’s resurrection life.

Monica’s website: www.thejoyfulunknown.com. Email: monicaherber@thejoyfulunknown.com

If this podcast resonates with you, please hit subscribe below.

Write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat. 

Connect with me HERE as your forgiveness coach. I will hold space for you as a witness to your story and help you work through the pain. 

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.

S1E13 Pockets of Joy in the Midst of Suffering

In this episode, I discuss how we can make ourselves receptive to joy amid our suffering and how we can use our suffering for the good of others. I discuss the four levels of Happiness in Fr. Robert Spitzer’s book, Finding True Happiness and give three tips for how to cultivate receptivity to joy: 1. Stop, 2. Drop and 3. Rock & Roll. I mention the song Jerusalema as one of my favorites to dance to when I am opening myself up to receive joy. 

I refer to the Laughing Jesus image and wonder what Jesus' laughter sounds like. 

We can have joy in the midst of suffering. 

If this podcast resonates with you, please rate and subscribe.

Write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat. 

Connect with me as your forgiveness guide at HERE. I will hold space for you as your Christian Life Coach as you rebuild your life after trauma.

Join me for a Virtual Forgiveness Retreat on March 13 & 14 7-9 pm EST. Register at www.drcrron.com. 

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.

S1E12 Overcoming Shame in the Forgiveness Process

In this episode, I discuss the emotion of shame, the third core emotion we might experience in the forgiveness process. In recent history, shame researcher Brene Brown has made headlines around the world as she exposed this gnarly emotion and its effects on the human psyche and relationships. I focus not so much on the research but speak directly to shame concerning the forgiveness of self.

I explain the Christian understanding of the origin of shame and talk about what happens in the mind when we experience shame.

Finally, I give tips on how to develop the courage to become vulnerable, and to have empathy for ourselves in the process of self-forgiveness.

If this podcast resonates with you, please rate and subscribe.

Write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat. 

Connect with me as your Christian Life Coach HERE. I will hold space for you as you rebuild your life.

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.

Eww that's disgusting! 5 Ways to Approach Disgust in the Forgiveness Process

Disgust is an oft-overlooked emotion in the healing of trauma and deciding to forgive. Moral disgust is the reaction to a physical reaction towards a person who violated the moral code, such as sexual, verbal, or physical abuse and betrayal in a relationship.

If we are to forgive ourselves, we will need to take a good, hard look at how disgust is showing up in our thoughts and is manifested in our bodies.

When disgust is internalized, we have a visceral reaction to our own thoughts, emotions, and actions.

When disgust is externalized, we hyperfocus on one or two aspects of the offender and define them as a “disgusting person” based on their behavior.

Recognize that feeling disgust is part of the healing journey and you are not wrong for feeling it toward yourself or the other person. It’s a natural reaction to a moral injustice. Avoid judging yourself for feeling disgusted.

References: Pope St. John Paul II Theology of the Body 

If this podcast resonates with you, please subscribe.

Write a review, share the link with a friend, take a screenshot, and share it on your social media.

Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat. 

Connect with me HERE as your forgiveness guide. I will hold space for you as your Christian Life Coach as you work through your pain to a new you. 

Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.