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Are you struggling to forgive yourself? Do you hold a grudge against someone who harmed you physically, emotionally, or mentally? Do you find it hard to forgive the adults in your life who were supposed to protect you, but didn’t? Do you hold resentment against a whole class of people because you’ve been discriminated against? I’VE BEEN THERE. I KNOW. I’m Dr. Carron Silva, Your Forgiveness Guide. As a woman of faith, I’ve spent the last 30 years seeking healing for sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, and healing from racial discrimination. What I’ve learned is that therapy could only take me so far. I believe that FORGIVENESS IS THE WAY TO INTERIOR FREEDOM, but we cannot do it alone. We need God, and in particular, Jesus, the Divine Physician, with the love of the Holy Spirit, to help us through a process of forgiveness. On this podcast, I talk about all the things that help you develop a lifelong skill of forgiveness and empower you to forgive yourself, others, and God. As a Certified Wholeness and Catholic Mindset Coach, I help you to navigate emotionally challenging situations, cultivate resilience after trauma, and in a nurturing emotionally safe, empathic, nonjudgmental, confidential coaching relationship. Why wait? Freedom starts now. Here’s what you can do: Connect: Schedule a FREE consultation with me at www.drcarron.com Study: Want to explore forgiveness on your own time before digging deep? Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini Audio Retreat. https://drcarron.kartra.com/page/forgiveness-audio-retreat Receive: Invite me to your church or small faith-sharing group for a talk or half-day virtual or in-person forgiveness at info@drcarron.com
Episodes

Tuesday Jan 23, 2024
S1E8 Is Loving Our Enemies Forgiveness?
Tuesday Jan 23, 2024
Tuesday Jan 23, 2024
In this episode, I am tackling the belief that “good” Christians have to forgive because God tells us to love our enemies. But is loving the same as forgiving? So many Christians who are still in the process of working through forgiveness get trapped in unhealthy relationships because they feel guilty about not loving their enemies as Jesus exhorts us to do in Matthew 5: 43-45. Victims are often strongly encouraged to re-engage in relationships with offenders as their Christian duty to forgive.
I challenge two concepts in this belief, (1) what it means to be a “good” Christian and (2) what it means to love our enemies.
It is well and good to have standards, but when we start to define Christianity by a set of rules instead of a relationship with our triune God, we are missing the boat. It’s time to get back to basics. Drop the “good” in front of Christian and sit at the foot of the Master, Jesus Christ. In Luke 18 v. 19, the rich official calls Jesus a good teacher, and He responds, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone.” We cannot earn grace. Forgiveness heals us and it frees us, but it has to be an act that is done in freedom and never under duress. Making someone believe that they somehow don’t make the cut as a “good Christian” to get them to forgive is manipulative and should stop.
The love that Jesus refers to in Matthew 5: 43-45 is agape love, the love that God infuses into our hearts when we are in a relationship with Him. It’s the love that Saint Paul refers to in 1 Corinthians 13 that bears all things. Jesus gives us a way to express that love by saying, “...pray for those who persecute you” Simply put, praying for our enemies is loving them. Do we need to be in a close relationship with someone when we pray for them? Absolutely not.
Are we supposed to tolerate behavior that insults our inherent dignity? NO. Jesus himself stated in Matthew 18:6, “Woe to the one by whom the stumbling block comes” about those who would tempt us to sin” What Jesus is asking of us here is to follow his lead and be merciful. But what does being merciful mean?
It doesn’t mean we have to submit to manipulation or abuse. We can love from a distance.
If you are in a situation where harm has been perpetrated against you, and you feel guilty for not having forgiven the offender and pressure from others to forgive, know this. You have free will. God respects your free will. He will never ask you to do something He has not already allowed His Son to suffer and redeem.
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Connect with me as your forgiveness guide at www.drcarron.com. I will hold space for you as your Christian Life Coach as you work through your pain and rewrite your story. Sign up HERE for a discovery call.
Not ready for coaching? Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat.
Email me at info@drcarron.com to schedule a speaking engagement at your church or small faith-sharing group.
Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.
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