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Are you struggling to forgive yourself? Do you hold a grudge against someone who harmed you physically, emotionally, or mentally? Do you find it hard to forgive the adults in your life who were supposed to protect you, but didn’t? Do you hold resentment against a whole class of people because you’ve been discriminated against? I’VE BEEN THERE. I KNOW. I’m Dr. Carron Silva, Your Forgiveness Guide. As a woman of faith, I’ve spent the last 30 years seeking healing for sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, and healing from racial discrimination. What I’ve learned is that therapy could only take me so far. I believe that FORGIVENESS IS THE WAY TO INTERIOR FREEDOM, but we cannot do it alone. We need God, and in particular, Jesus, the Divine Physician, with the love of the Holy Spirit, to help us through a process of forgiveness. On this podcast, I talk about all the things that help you develop a lifelong skill of forgiveness and empower you to forgive yourself, others, and God. As a Certified Wholeness and Catholic Mindset Coach, I help you to navigate emotionally challenging situations, cultivate resilience after trauma, and in a nurturing emotionally safe, empathic, nonjudgmental, confidential coaching relationship. Why wait? Freedom starts now. Here’s what you can do: Connect: Schedule a FREE consultation with me at www.drcarron.com Study: Want to explore forgiveness on your own time before digging deep? Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini Audio Retreat. https://drcarron.kartra.com/page/forgiveness-audio-retreat Receive: Invite me to your church or small faith-sharing group for a talk or half-day virtual or in-person forgiveness at info@drcarron.com
Episodes

Monday Jan 01, 2024
S1E5 What Forgiveness Is Not
Monday Jan 01, 2024
Monday Jan 01, 2024
Today’s episode, What Forgiveness Is Not, is the fourth in a four-part series called Understanding Forgiveness. In today’s episode, I discuss what forgiveness is not.
- Forgiveness is not a one-time event we have to do it over and over and over sometimes for years before we can actually say that we have forgiven the person.
- Forgiveness not for the offender, it is for you, to set your heart free from holding on to the emotional bonds and the memory that you have connected to the offender.
- Forgiveness is not accountability for someone else. We may never be able to hold the offender accountable. They might not even be aware that they've done anything wrong to us, so the possibility of holding them accountable may not always be available.
- Forgiveness also does not erase the consequences for myself or the offender. If we need to ask for forgiveness, that other person may never want to speak to us, see us, or have anything to do with us ever again. In contrast, we may never receive justice. We do have a responsibility to pursue criminal justice if we are aware that the person is still causing harm, especially to protect minors.
- Forgiveness is not forgetting or erasing the memories of what happened to us.
- Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We may never have the opportunity to reconcile with the other person and we may not want to reconcile. There are exceptions. We can have reconciliation with that part of us that was hurt. It can be healed and integrated into our whole being. We can also have reconciliation with God.
- Forgiveness is also not a disempowered state. When we decide to forgive, we're taking back our power and that gives us more agency over how we are going to interact with that person and that's where boundaries come in.
- Forgiveness is not dehumanizing the other person. When we forgive, we have to broaden our view to perceive that person in their entirety because God created that person or those people and he did not create them as a monster or an entity that doesn't have full human dignity.
This concludes our four-part series, Understanding Forgiveness. I hope you will join me next episode as we explore how who we are impacts how we forgive.
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Connect with me as your forgiveness guide at www.drcarron.com. I will hold space for you as your Christian Life Coach as you work through your pain and rewrite your story. Sign up HERE for a discovery call.
Not ready for coaching? Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini-Audio Retreat.
Email me at info@drcarron.com to schedule a speaking engagement at your church or small faith-sharing group.
Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.
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