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Are you struggling to forgive yourself? Do you hold a grudge against someone who harmed you physically, emotionally, or mentally? Do you find it hard to forgive the adults in your life who were supposed to protect you, but didn’t? Do you hold resentment against a whole class of people because you’ve been discriminated against? I’VE BEEN THERE. I KNOW. I’m Dr. Carron Silva, Your Forgiveness Guide. As a woman of faith, I’ve spent the last 30 years seeking healing for sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, and healing from racial discrimination. What I’ve learned is that therapy could only take me so far. I believe that FORGIVENESS IS THE WAY TO INTERIOR FREEDOM, but we cannot do it alone. We need God, and in particular, Jesus, the Divine Physician, with the love of the Holy Spirit, to help us through a process of forgiveness. On this podcast, I talk about all the things that help you develop a lifelong skill of forgiveness and empower you to forgive yourself, others, and God. As a Certified Wholeness and Catholic Mindset Coach, I help you to navigate emotionally challenging situations, cultivate resilience after trauma, and in a nurturing emotionally safe, empathic, nonjudgmental, confidential coaching relationship. Why wait? Freedom starts now. Here’s what you can do: Connect: Schedule a FREE consultation with me at www.drcarron.com Study: Want to explore forgiveness on your own time before digging deep? Sign up for my 5 Days to Forgiveness Self-Guided Mini Audio Retreat. https://drcarron.kartra.com/page/forgiveness-audio-retreat Receive: Invite me to your church or small faith-sharing group for a talk or half-day virtual or in-person forgiveness at info@drcarron.com
Episodes
Tuesday Mar 12, 2024
Tuesday Mar 12, 2024
In today’s episode, I discuss the power of resentment in the forgiveness process and offer 10 steps for overcoming it.
The definition of resentment comes from an article, From Ressentiment to Resentment as a Tertiary Emotion by Warren D. TenHouten published in 2018 in the Review of European Studies Volume 10, No 4.
TenHouten claims that resentment is not a primary or secondary emotion, but a tertiary emotion, “whose primary emotional components are anger, surprise and disgust, and whose secondary components are contempt, shock and outrage.” Resentment is a conglomerate of emotions.
I refer to a study by Almeida and Cunha on the physical effects of resentment and mention Dr. Caroline Leaf's work on processing emotions.
Forgiveness is as much about mastery of our own emotions as it is about using our will in the decision to forgive. Forgiveness requires a level of maturity that allows us to recognize when our emotions are running the show, and when we are using reason to guide our actions. When resentment is driving our behavior, it’s time to take a step back and become private investigators. Get to the thoughts underneath, challenge them; decide on a course of action that produces the result you want. I hope that the result you want is healing and forgiveness.
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Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.
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